Most parents want to believe that their kids would be okay in the case of divorce. But honestly, you never know to what degree or severity a separation of any kind would affect your children. Therefore, plan for the worst, and seek a family or child counselor at the first indication of a separation or divorce. Counselors can help children and parents cope with the changes, while giving kids a safe place to express their thoughts and feelings.
Other ways you can make a divorce easier on your kids include:
Keep Track of Their Feelings
Present your kids with an outlet for their emotions. This is a good idea for any parent any time, but it’s a special must for children of separation or divorce. Kids need a way to express their feelings and relieve their stress. So, give them an outlet, such as sports, a diary to write in, or time away from the house with friends and loved ones that make them happy.
Never Belittle Your Ex-Partner in a Child’s Presence
This one is a challenge. You might feel the bitter sting of a divorce and you may feel disdain for your ex-spouse, but you should avoid, at all costs, belittling your ex in front of your child. This could damage their relationship with the other parent, causing a deeper rift between you, your kids, and your ex. It hurts for everyone, but keep your kids’ best interests at heart. Instead, encourage your child to speak with your ex whenever possible. Install cam software and let them interact via your computer. Or, create an “open door” policy where your ex-spouse can visit their kids at any time.
Connect with Your Kids Through Conversation
Children of divorce often have the same problem—their parents were too wrapped up to ever connect with them. Put a stop to that right now by sitting down on a regular basis for an expressive, deep conversation with your youngsters. Listen to their concerns, try to soothe their fears, and be honest with them. They understand and observe more than you think.
Divorce is never an easy process, with or without children. But kids are usually the ones most harmed by the separation of their parents. By following the aforementioned advice in the above article, you can ensure your children are on a positive, healing path after your separation.